Elementary, Middle and Highschool Boy-Girl Relationship Essay

Is it too soon to talk just about virile child/ young lady descents in elementary tutor? Of course it is, you say Well, you may non want to hear about it, or you may select denial over reality, hardly the fact remains that children atomic number 18 playacting out the cultural role that they argon being taught as archeozoic as 2nd grade. Therefore, the relationship between boys and girls at every enlighten (Christian and non- Christian) is a topic that inevitably to be discussed from a biblical standpoint. late I have observed an increase in the level of interaction between some of the boys and girls at the elementary school level with the dude/girlfriend relationship in mind. There have been some shout calls made and notes give wayed, and yet nothing really serious has happened. Even so, the fallout from this kind of interest and behavior has been clearly empathizen, as some of the kids atomic number 18 rejecting others, breaking off friendships, and making w ho likes whom a focus of attention.The pattern becomes more(prenominal) sophisticated as it continues in the middle school long time and is in full bloom by the conviction the children hit high school. I would like to attempt to persuade you that the elementary level of who likes whom, and the middle school level of who is going out with whom, atomic number 18 not simply unprejudiced and cute stages of life through which every adept must go. As informed Christians professing to laud the Lord in all things, we need to see if both of this behavior brings repute to God and evaluate the effects of it on our kids. A brief look at the teen go out model and its consequences testament show that it is the worlds model, not Christs, that we argon so accustomed to. geological dating is more for a boy and a girl than just spending time to sign onher. Its a lifestyle that involves attitudes and values. Its a heart thing Matthew 2237 says, And He tell to him, You shall tell apart the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. The number 1 love for our kids is to be Jesus.Our Creators plan for our lives is really what we should be directing our kids to focus on the chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever Romantic male-female relationships are designed by God to be special and singular. The worlds model of geological dating is adept in which you try out numerous opportunities until you find the one and only(a) that appoints you happy. This type of dating results in a pattern of many wiped out(p) hearts and bad memories some of which are detrimental to the intimacy mean for marriage later in life. Interestingly, even the non Christian world is start out to realize that frequent dating is not healthy. The following are excerpts from an oblige in the September 8, 2005 jetty Street Journal1 that cites two studies not create verbally from a Christian worldview but nonetheless conclude * Teens who date a lot gullt have a higher likelihood of developing healthy adult relationships.Instead, their romances in their 20s are likely to be more troubled. * Teens who dated only one or a hardly a(prenominal) people, and formed relationships of more than a few weeks, emerged in their 20s with closer and more-trusting amatory ties than those who had more numerous and fleeting dates. * Unmarried teen girls who settled nap with just one partner at 16 or 17- and were chill out single(a) at 21- are more likely to be in the end married by ages 22-25. Many, including Christians and non Christians, echo that dating is just part of the teen experience. However, putting adolescent boys and girls to steriliseher leads not only to the emotional experiences that oft tear at our childrens hearts but also to intimate experimentation. Think back to your teen years were you told by a cuss or girlfriend in your teen years that he/she love you? Did he/she eventually marry you? Where did that r elationship lead? God wants us to act and think differently.These are matters of the heart. Philippians 19-10 says, And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may extol what is excellent, and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ. The goal for or so kids in boy/girl relationships is that they are primarily interested in what they are going to deliver out of the relationship. whatsoevertimes popularity, comfort or pleasure is what a teen gains emotionally or physically. Thats not the kind of love that God would have us live out. Thats choosing what feels good for self rather than what is good for others and pleases God. Parents must be practiced and Biblically discerning about the real motivation that lies behind the thoughts and actions of our children. Do love and sincerity motivate the boys in these relationships? Matthew 2239 says, And a sustain is like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.T here is a huge have got on the subject entitled I Kissed Dating Goodbye, create verbally by chaffua Harris. I have little space here, so I allow for make a few points and urge you to buy the book. The book is about waiting and preparation, and it debunks and rejects the typical idea of dating and applies a Biblical grid to it. You dont have to scoff with all of his points, but it would behoove you to take a good look at them. Josh Harris says, Lets not do what feels good, but instead do what is good. He encourages us to look at all of the damage caused by typical worldly dating in the lives of teens and to replace that energy and time with a time of focused preparation for all of life, including preparing for the special relationship of marriage.The book challenges our teens to realize they have no business taking other(prenominal) persons heart if they are not ready to make a lifelong loading to that person. He says that if you really love someone, youll be interested in th at special persons long-term needs rather than your short-term desires. He exhorts the teen to look at the striking picture serving others and glorifying God. That way, the person is positioned to receive Gods take up for them. God has something better for a teen than futile worldly dating I have two lists for you from the Josh Harris book that are without the come on explanation that is needed, but due to lack of space, youll just have to get the book to learn more. The seven habits of highly defective dating are1. Dating leads to intimacy, but not necessarily commitment. 2. Dating tends to skip the friendship stage of the relationship. 3. Dating lots mistakes a physical relationship for love. 4. Dating a lot isolates a couple from other vital relationships. 5. Dating, in many cases, distracts young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future. 6. Dating can cause discontentment with Gods gift of singleness. 7. Dating creates an artificial environment for evaluating another persons character. If you are like me, you read those and said amen, Ive done that in front and amen, I see that over and over again. immediately here is the refreshing Christian view five important refreshful attitudes 1. Every relationship is an opportunity to model Christs love. 2. My unmarried years are a gift from God.3. Intimacy is the reward of commitment I dont need to pursue a quixotic relationship before I am ready for marriage. 4. I cannot consume someone outside of marriage. 5. I will avoid situations that could compromise the virtuousness of my body or mind. Some of you wont agree. Some of you agree but are saying, My child would never go for this. You are short right. If they have been trained by the world to think like a worldling, they will not want to kiss dating goodbye. But, you are the parent, so.. be the parent I cant tell you how often parents tell me what their child will or will not do, so thats what they (the parents) do. We pa rents have to take a stand for the Lord and see the tough things that need to be taught God will honor that. Some of you are happy that you dont have teens yet, so you think you dont have to be concerned. Wrong The reason that we are struggling with our teens and worldly dating and relationship views isbecause of what they have been taught since Kindergarten.How foolish is it of us parents to allow our child to be taught worldly thinking about male/female relationships and consequently go to God when our child is 16 years old to beg that He will help our child get along like a Christian when he/she is alone God will not be mocked Boys must be taught that they are not to get physical with the girls and that, instead, girls are to be honored and respected. Little things such as holding open a door or helping get hold of something for a girl are proper and good. The children need to be taught that having an arctic sex relationship is something that is for later in life as you get ready for marriage something that is also extraordinarily special to people and to God. Boys and girls occupational group each other on the phone (especially in elementary school) is unconnected in most cases.We need to teach that people are not possessions that you can trade. Instead, we need to teach them to show real love to one another by helping one another to succeed where they are in life (a student) and to honor God. What are our kids being taught through what they see and hear daily? What are they watching on TV? How about the movies? You and I both know that women are often portrayed as sex objects and trophies. What about at home? Dads, do you treat your married woman as the queen of the household? Do your kids see you treating her with great precaution and affection? Do you realize that everything they see is teaching them how to treat their wives one day? Every year of our lives we are learning and recording aeonian records in our minds. I played the worldly relatio nship and dating granular when I was young and things may seem to have worked out OK. My married woman and I have been married for 27 years and have a great marriage but there is more to the story than what you see.Frankly, I am ashamed of many things that I have recorded in my memory regarding male/female relationships from many years ago before I was married. I have prayed that God would remove some of those memories, and He has been gracious, but some remain. In Gods purposes, He often allows us to experience and remember things so we can learn from them and pass the lessons on to others. If you went through the same pattern of worldly dating when you were young, you dont have to pass it on. You can start afresh with your children. By Gods grace, you have the power to go against the tide of our finale and raise up children who are truly happy and bring glory to God.We have great promises from God that He will be close-fitting if we will trust and obey Him. I hope that this ar ticle has inclined you some food for thought. Better yet, I hope that you have been convert that boy/girl relationships in the third, fourth, or fifth grade are yet another battleground for the spiritual struggle for our kids hearts. In life, the fret is not kept out of your childs life by locking a door. We must get after him with all weve got and then root out the unbiblical thinking in our kids. 1Shellenbarger, Sue (2005) The Case for leaving Steady Studies Say Teen Dating Habits Affect Marriage Skills. Wall Street Journal, 9/8/2005.